FRIDAY, JULY 13, 2018 |
Historically, rappers especially havn’t been known to choose common mainstream names for their children. And more often than not, their “unique” choices are tragically ridiculous. We feel for these children. So, in honor of baby Kulture, we’ve put together a list of rappers who have gone a step too far when naming their children. Through this compilation of these baby names, some themes have arisen. Many names are derived from royalty and hierarchy…because god forbid their children be comparable to us peasants. If we had a constitutional monarchy, then I’m sure it would be comprised of these children.
1. T.I. – Messiah Ya’Majesty
T.I. is the father of many, all of which have unconventional names…however, his son Ya’Majesty takes the cake. His daughter, Heiress Harris was a close contender. Born in 2000, this is his oldest son with his ex, Lashon Dixon, one of T.I.’s several baby moms.
2. Tyga – King Cairo Stevenson
Tyga’s son with Blac Chyna is named King, so they must have high expectations him. Well…he hasn’t been crowned king yet but he has been sued. Yes, Tyga got his 5-year old son sued for unpaid rent, because he put King’s name on the lease. There’s been other drama around little King besides the lawsuit, as he used to have a part time baby sitter named Kylie Jenner when she was Tyga’s squeeze. However, it didn’t take long for Blac Chyna to ban the child from going to the Jenner house. Baby King was treated as such from an early age…he was given a mini black matte Lamborghini and gray Range Rover for his first birthday.
3. Fetty Wap – Khari Barbie
In 2016, Fetty Wap’s ex-girlfriend Masika Kalysha gave birth to their daughter Khari Barbie. Fun fact, the same day that Kalysha gave birth, Fetty Wap took a paternity test…just to make sure. And of course, Khari means queenly, born to rule and bring joy, Kalysha shared on Love & Hip-Hop: Hollywood. You would think there’s some deep meaningful story behind the choice for Barbie, but you thought wrong. “Barbie, just because I mean, she’s gonna be a Barbie doll, look at her mom!”, Kalysha said.
4. The Game – California Dream
In 2010, The Game’s ex-wife Tiffney Cambridge gave birth to their precious little Katy Perry song. I guess The Game really loves the state of California, because that’s his daughters first name. But at only 8 years old, she’s killing it…last year she modeled in the Fenty x Puma spring show for RihRih.
5. Future – Future
Future isn’t the worst of names, but this is a classic case of letting the father name the child, and then facing the consequences when the relationship goes bad. I’m not saying that’s going to happen with Cardi B and Offset, but rappers don’t have a great track record when it comes to being faithful. Baby Future has been the subject of endless baby mama drama and custody disputes. Now, Ciara is married to Russell Wilson, with a baby named after her ex man…not the best situation. There were once rumors circulating that Ciara wanted to rename the baby Russell Wilson Jr., but that probably didn’t go over to well with Papa Fewtch.
6. Big Boi – Bamboo
This Outkast veteran may win the award for worst baby name. It’s not royal, it’s not cute…it’s a plant. We’ve yet to hear Big Boi’s inspiration for naming his son Bamboo, but he’s turning out alright despite being named after a Panda’s favorite snack. He recently graduated from high school with honors, and André 3000 joined Big Boi to celebrate the grad.
Pharrell tried to explain this name choice on Oprah, saying “In the same way that the Indians name their children like behind a force or an animal or an element, we named him after a manmade machine that was meant to go up. Meant to ascend”. Hmmm…not terrible, but not great either. A manmade machine? Seems more fitting for a dog. Pharrell is definitely not the type to name his son something basic though, and at least there was thought behind the name. He also mentioned the name was inspired by songs made by his favorite musicians, such as Elton John, and contrary to what people have said, Rocket’s middle name is not Man. His full name is Rocket Ayer Williams. Both rockets and ayer are meant to ascend. We have full confidence that Pharell’s son will be a genius like his father. And not to mention, Pharrell and his family were deemed #FamCrushFriday by Rihanna, which is a pretty big deal.
8. Chief Keef – Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart
Yes. That is Chief Keef’s son’s full name. Take a moment to really comprehend it. Now take a moment to pray for the poor child. Chief Keef took branding to a whole new level, naming his son after the website for his record label, FilmOn.com. A press release in 2015 said that Keef and his newest baby mama had agreed to name their newborn son Sno FilmOn Dot Com Cozart in order to promote his album, Bang 3. It is because of situations like this that people are allowed to change their name in the United States.
9. Swizz Beatz – Egypt
Well, Egypt is better than California. We mostly just threw this one in because at 5- years old, Swizz Beatz’s son produced for Kendrick Lamar on Untitled Unmastered. He is a piano prodigy at 5, meanwhile Tyga’s son is just getting sued. He also made a song called “Super Boy” which is absolutely precious.
10. DMX – King Coy Deel
What do we have here…another King?? And believe it or not, there are more kings but we didn’t have enough room on the list. King Coy Deel sounds like a boss that you can’t beat on Super Mario.