Compiled by London Swaminathan
Date: 18 September 2018
Time uploaded in London – 14-50 (British Summer Time)
Post No. 5447
Pictures shown here are taken by london swaminathan.
DONT YOU KNOW ME?
American actor John Barrymore, at the height of his fame, went into the shop of a swanky men’s clothier in Hollywood. He left an order and started to leave.
‘Your name please’, the clerk asked
The Barrymore’s brows arched high,
‘Barrymore’, he replied coldly.
‘Which Barrymore, please?’
Coolness turned to solid ice.
‘Ethel’, he said.
When George Burns assumed his professional name, George Jessel remarked to him,
Well, Georgie, you can change your name to Burns but you will never get the salami out of your stomach.
Says Walter Winchell,
Shortly before your son was born, I remarked in the newspaper that if your new baby was a boy he would be named Reid Winchell, and if a girl, Sue Winchell.
To which a reader heckler telegraphed,
Boy or girl it should be called Lynch Winchell.
ADAM IS A SWINDLER!
A stranger in the town passed the grocery store bearing on its window the name of its proprietor,
Amused, the stranger entered the store and asked the grocer if he did not think that his full name would make a better impression.
No, said the grocer, it would be worse.
‘My first name is Adam’.
MOUNTAIN AND MOSQUITO!
At one time both Montague Mathews and Mathew Montague were members of the British House of Commons, Mr Mathews was a big powerful giant of a man. Mr Montague was a thin and emaciated man.
The Speaker frequently confused the two
I can’t understand it, said Montague Mathews.
There’s as much difference between us as there is between a horse chestnut and a chestnut horse.
One time, talking with Lord Beaverbrook , Sinclair Lewis kept on saying,
What do you think, Max?
Beaver brook got tired of this form of address after the eighth time and suddenly snapped at him,
What do you think, Sinc?
A man named Longworth was once presented to Longfellow, and remarked upon the similarity of their names.
Yes, said Longfellow, and I believe the advantage is yours, for as Pope has said,
Worth makes the man, the want of it, the fellow.
NAMING A BABY
‘I have made up my mind what we will call the baby ‘, the young mother announced,
‘We will call her Eulalia’
The father did not care for this choice but he was shrewd.
‘That is fine’, he said.
‘The first girl I loved was named Eulalia, and it will evoke pleasant memories’ .
The wife was silent for a moment.
‘We will call her Mary after my mother’, she said.
XXX SUBHAM XXX