Boys, Girls

Top 5 Ways To Not Suck At Baby Names

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Top 5 Ways To Not Suck At Baby Names

Let’s face it.  You can still screw up your baby’s name.  Not you specifically.  I’m sure you did an amazing job.  And every time you accidentally screw it up, its not because of you, its everyone else.  Let’s not make this about you.  Let’s make this about everyone else who really did do a bad job.

Top 5 Ways To Screw Up Your Baby’s Name

5: Not Googling Your Baby’s Name – If your last name is Costello, you know you don’t want to name your baby Francis, because then you’ll be calling him a crime lord.  And pity all the recent parents with the last name of Daniels that decided to feel a little nature inspired with their Stormies.  You obviously can’t avoid all future criminal names, but you can at least google it to make sure there isn’t any awkward notoriety headed their way.  And if you find out your baby’s name comes up on a mob name generator, keep looking.

4: Awkward Rhyming – Yes, the children keep singing the banana-bana-fo-fana because we as parents keep teaching them.  And as long as we continue to do that, don’t name a baby that rhymes with anything you don’t want them saying.  In my house, fart counts.

3: Unfortunate Initials – Consider, particularly if your last name starts with “S”, to not name your child with a first and middle name that starts with “A” and “S”.  I looked up Andrew Steve Smith on Facebook and he looks pretty angry.  Now you know why.

2: Sibling Coordination – Jack and Jill may have gone up the hill to get a pail of water, but that was probably the last time they got along, maybe Jack is still suffering from breaking his crown.  But that’s about the only “cutesy” name combination its ok to use.  Consider this awkward name pairing from Healthy Moms Magazine – Cassandra and Cadence.  When you are hollering at them to get their GD shoes on, you know you’ll be calling them dishwasher detergent……cascade……

1: Bad meanings – Look up the meaning of your baby’s name.  Did you know Lilith is Hebrew from “night monster”?  Frasier makes a lot more sense.  Portia is derived from the word pig……that’ll play well on the school yard!

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